These leaked Conor McGregor rape texts are very legitimate and totally not fake

Really, this is the damning evidence we want to bring Conor McGregor in on? A handful of creative texts with a little bit of google’s “top Irish slang terms” sprinkled in for effect. Let the record show I’m fully prepared to backpedal so quickly on this I’ll be called into the Bears defensive back tryouts next year if this heap of trash turns out to be true. However, as it looks currently that won’t be the case. This just reeks of someone trying to smear McGregor’s name. When I first heard this news I was expecting police reports, maybe some official news of an ongoing investigation, something. Instead all we have is a handful of Whatsapp messages that for all we know could be from two guys who are salty they laid their mortgage down on Conor to KO Khabib in the first.

Furthermore that story sounds like every freshman in a frat at class on Monday trying to up sell someone on their weekend. From the connections through Conor’s sister, to the fact that this girl who appeared mad at them would come back to a private hotel party, to the intimate details of exactly how Conor fucked this girl, it all sounds exactly like how you would make up a rape story if instructed to do so. Cherry on top this guy throws the cop out line in right from the jump.
“I can’t say this is 100% truth.”
I’m not a lawyer but I’m pretty sure that absolves the guy from any libel charges right? Pretty much has carte blanche to publish the fiction novel he proceeded to type out after that? If my math is right all we are going to end up with here is a couple tweets worth of clickbait and nothing more.

So in light of the news that Hogwarts is more real than these texts the only purpose they really serve is proving to us what most of us already assumed. Though cocaine is a hell of a drug Conor isn’t quite THAT stupid. He’s not about to throw away all that hard earned Mayweather money because some rando chick a bar wasn’t feeling it. He loves riding around in Rolls Royce’s too much to do that. It’ll probably take another week or so because that’s just how these things work but rest assured Conor stans the (former) champ champ isn’t going anywhere for the time being… anywhere but crack houses apparently.

Oh and by the way – how miserable of a life are you living where you are straight up rooting for the story contained within those messages to be true? I watch sports too man I’ve seen all the ill wishes; career ending injury, drug problem, father time catches you, meet a rival you can’t overcome, traded to a garbage team, the works. However waving the rally towel in hopes that a young woman was the victim of what was described to be a pretty brutal rape so you can see someone’s career get derailed is a new one. If you are one of those people I encourage you to do something, like literally anything. Pick up guitar, start lifting weights, find a hobby something. There’s got to be a better use of your time than hating Conor McGregor and his fans so much you hope someone gets raped all so you can take the moral high ground on Twitter.

2 comments

    1. Thanks homie, appreciate the support. Now we just gotta see what happens with these other child allegations.

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